What are Mondegreens?

Mondegreens are misheard song lyrics. A fuller explanation of the meaning of the word mondegreen is best shown by retelling how it originated…

The American writer Sylvia Wright frequently wrote for Harper’s Bazaar. In November 1954 she wrote an article for the magazine explaining a misinterpretation of a song lyric, which she had made in her youth:

“When I was a child, my mother used to read aloud to me from Percy’s Reliques, and one of my favorite poems began, as I remember:

Ye Highlands and ye Lowlands, Oh, where hae ye been? They hae slain the Earl Amurray, And Lady Mondegreen.”

The actual words of the ballad ‘The Bonny Earl of Murray’ are:

Ye Highlands and ye Lowlands, Oh where have you been? They have slain the Earl o’ Moray And layd him on the green.

Of course, by the time she had written the article Wright had realised her mistake but, being a creative writer, she went onto coin a term for that form of error:

“The point about what I shall hereafter call mondegreens, since no one else has thought up a word for them, is that they are better than the original.”

The term mondegreen has now been widely adopted to mean ‘misheard lyric’. Many of them sadly don’t meet Wright’s ‘better than the original’ criteria. Here are a few examples which I think do:

‘Scuse me while I kiss this guy (Meaning/Origin)

Beelzebub has a devil for a sideboard (Meaning/Origin)

Killed in a bar when he was only three (Meaning/Origin)

Olive the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names (Meaning/Origin)

The ants are my friends, they’re blowing in the wind (Meaning/Origin)

The girl with colitis goes by (Meaning/Origin)

There’s a bathroom on the right (Meaning/Origin)

… and here’s a longer list. Each entry gives the mishearing, then the song and artist it belongs to:

A new religion that’ll bring you to your knees, like Velveeta Cheese - Black Velvet, Allanah Myles

A weenie wack a weenie wack a weenie wack - The Lion Sleeps Tonight, Tokens

A year has passed since I broke my nose - Message in a Bottle, The Police

After the poison summer has gone - Boys of Summer, Don Henley

All my luggage, I will send to you - Beatles

All the boys think she’s a spaz - Bette Davis Eyes, Kim Carnes

And there’s a wino down the road - I should have stolen Oreos - Stairway to Heaven, Led Zeppelin

Are you going to starve an old friend? - Simon & Garfunkel

Baby come back, you can play Monopoly - Baby Come Back, Player

Baking carrot biscuits - Takin Care Of Business, Bachman-Turner Overdrive

Bald headed woman - Bee Gees

B-b-b-Betty in a dress - Bennie and the Jets, Elton John

Big girl, small fry - The Four Seasons

Big Old Jed had a light on - Jet Airliner, The Steve Miller Band

Blew out my flip-flop, stepped on a pop-tart - Margaritaville, Jimmy Buffett

Bringing in the sheets - Hymn

Carryin’ beans, now we’re sharin’ the same jeans - Billy Ocean

Changes come around real soon; naked swimming in bed - Jack and Diane, John Cougar

Climb every mountain - Whitney Houston

Come and let me tell you ‘bout my bed spread - Courtship of Eddie’s Father, Theme from the TV Show,

Come shave my heart - Ray Charles

Dirty deeds and the thunder chiefs OR Dirty deeds done to sheep - ACDC

Do a little dance, make a little rum, Italian Ice! Italian Ice! - Do A Little Dance, KC & The Sunshine Band

Do the lucky lady - Aerosmith

Don’t you know you’ve got two chocolate monkeys? - Shock the Monkey, Peter Gabriel

Donuts make my brown eyes blue - Crystal Gale

Doughnuts make my brown eyes blue - Don’t It Make My Brown Eyes Blue, Crystal Gayle

Every time you go away you take a piece of meat with you - Every Time You Go Away, Paul Young

Everybody in a wholesale frock - Jailhouse Rock, Elvis Presley

Everybody’s crazy ‘bout a shot glass man - Sharp-Dressed Man, ZZ Top

Four-legged woman - Bee Gees

Ghost man so close to me - The Police

Give me the Beach Boys and free my soul - Drift Away, Dobie Gray

Goin’ to the Jack-O-Lantern, gonna get married - Chapel of Love, Dixie Cups,

Gonna dress you up in nylons - Dress You Up, Madonna

Good-bye yellow brick road. There’s a dark cloud inside of the house - Elton John

Got a lot of lucky peanuts - Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons

Ham on rye - Kenny Loggins

Hang on stupid - The McCoys

Happy as a rafter in the market place - Ob la di, Beatles

Her heavy head turned to ice cream, being the one - Billie Jean, Michael Jackson

His car has four-wheel drive - Don’t Stand So Close to Me, The Police

Hit me with your pet shark - Hit me with your best shot, Pat Benatar

Hold me closer, Tony Danza - Tiny Dancer, Elton John

Home, where my love lies waiting, Simon, weep for me - Homeward Bound, Simon & Garfunkel

Hope the city voted for you - Grease sound track

How’s about a date? - Eyes Without a Face, Billy Idol

I can see clearly now the rain has gone. I can see all life’s fickles in the way - Jimmy Cliff

I can see those spider veins - Bullet the Blue Sky, U2

I can’t climb this ceiling any more - I can’t fight this feeling, REO Speedwagon

I could not believe we ever got forty cents - Freshmen, Verve Pipe

I get locked out, so I go out again - Tubthumping, Chumbawumba

I really don’t like him… Doctor Cashpot, Doctor Cashpot - Rock the Casbah, The Clash

I shot the Sheriff, but I didn’t shoot him dead you see - Bob Marley

I sometimes wish I’d never been boiled in oil - Bohemian Rhapsody, Queen

I supply the face - Eyes Without a Face, Billy Idol

I wanna die! - Oh What a Night, The Four Seasons

I wanna know. Have you ever seen Loraine? - Creedence Clearwater Revival

I want a new truck - Huey Lewis & the News

I want a piece of bacon - I Wanna Be Sedated, The Ramones

I was so mad! - Blues Brothers

I wonder, wonder, who, who rode the moo-cow now? - Book of Love, The Monotones

If she would have been paid for - If She Would Have Been Faithful, Chicago

I’ll give you diamond Sprite! - For Your Love, The Yardbirds

I’ll never leave your pizza burning - Rolling Stones

I’m 264 my shirt, 264 my shirt - I’m Too Sexy, Right Said Fred

I’m a pool hall ace - Every Step You Take, The Police

I’m an educated fool with my knee on my mind - Gangsta’s Paradise, Coolio

I’m just a squirrel - No Doubt

I’m not talkin’ bout religion - I’d Really Love to See You Tonight, England Dan and John Ford Cowley

I’m not talking ‘bout Bolivia - Really Love to See You Tonight, John Ford Collie

I’m standing in the middle of life with my pants behind me - Middle of the Road, Pretenders

I’m the god of Velveeta, honey - Iron Butterfly

It’s like I told you, only the lonely get laid - Only the Lonely, The Motels

I’ve been haulin’ a** so long - Miss You, Rolling Stones

I’ve got a backache from loving you - Loving You, Robert Palmer

I’ve got a new pair of shoes - Patti LaBelle

I’ve got two chickens with parrot eyes! - Two Tickets to Paradise, Eddie Money

Jay, Jay, Jay; Jay you’re cool - Chain of Fools, Aretha Franklin

Jeremy’s smokin’ crack today - Jeremy, Pearl Jam

Jim Dandy ate the red stew - Black Oak Arkansas

Jose can you see? - The Star Spangled Banner

Just brush my teeth before you leave me, baby - Angel of the Morning, Juice Newton

Just like a one-winged dove - Stevie Nicks

Knee deep in doughnuts, children at your feet - The Beatles

Last night I dreamt of some bagels - La Isla Bonita, Madonna

Let Milo open the door - Pete Townsend, The Who

Life ain’t nothing but a seven dollar fiddle - John Denver

Life in the Vaseline - Eagles

Look into my butterflies - My Father’s Eyes, Eric Clapton,

Looks like tomatoes - Barry Manilow

Love is a big, fat quivering slug - Love Is Stronger Than Justice, Sting

Makin’ carrot biscuits - Taking Care of Business, Bachman Turner Overdrive

Maybe I’ll play cards and be as fast as you - Dwight Yokum

Medieval woman OR He is a woman - Evil Woman, ELO

Michelle, ma belle, Sunday monkey play no piano song, no piano song - The Beatles

My woman is Okay-O - Woman From Tokyo, Deep Purple

No dogs orgasm in the classroom OR No Dukes of Hazzard in the classroom - Another Brick in the Wall, Pink Floyd

Oh my darling lemon pie - traditional song

Only the good Tyrone - Billy Joel

Pay for my Chrysler - Beatles

Pick out Jed from the line-up - Steve Miller Band

Please relieve me - let me go - Englebert Humperdinck

Police have a dog - Feliz Navidad, Jose Feliciano

Pretty Woman, won’t you lick my leg - Roy Orbison

Red, red wine, steak, lobster meat - UB-40

Return da Zenda - Elvis Presley

Reverend blue jeans - Forever in Blue Jeans, Neil Diamond

Rocket man, burning all the trees off every lawn - Rocket Man, Elton John

Running With my billfold - Running With the Devil, Van Halen

Searching for my lost singer from Mars - Margaritaville, Jimmy Buffett

Secret Asian man - Secret Agent Man, Johnny Rivers

Selsun blue - Song Sung Blue, Neil Diamond

She loved Cheez-Its, and America too - Free Fallin, Tom Petty,

She’s got a chicken to ride OR She’s got a tic in her eye - Beatles

She’s got better days, besides! - Kim Carnes

She’s got electric boobs, a mohair too - Benny and the Jets, Elton John

Since she left me there’ve been owls pukin’ in my bed - Help Me Rhonda, Beach Boys

Sing in the light, sing in the light - Bee Gees

Slow walking Walter, the fire engine guy OR Snow covered horses - Smoke on the Water, Deep Purple

Stand on the rug - Wings

Starin’ at my momma’s corpse, the summer’d seem to last forever - Summer of ‘69, Bryan Adams

Stick your head in lotion - I Second That Emotion, Smokey Robinson & The Miracles

Straight arm, straight arm for you - Heart

Stretch my dick OR strain my dick - Strange Magic, ELO

Strolling stuntman - The Stroke, Billy Squier

Stuffing my face with his fingers - Killing Me Softly, Roberta Flack

Sugar fried honey butt - Can’t Help Myself, Four Tops

Sweet dreams are made of cheese - The Eurythmics

Sweet tell a lie - Neil Diamond

Take the back right turn - Beatles

Take your pants down, and make it happen - Flashdance, Irene Cara

Tape it to a biscuit - Takin Care Of Business, Bachman-Turner Overdrive

Tattoo detective! - Whip It, Devo

The bride bless the day, the dogs say goodnight - Louis Armstrong

The heart of rock and roll is in Cleveland - Huey Lewis and the News

Then I saw her face, now I’m gonna leave her - The Monkees

Through the night, with the light from a bulb - God Bless America, Irving Berlin

Warm smell of policemen rising up through the air OR warm smell of collegiates rising up through the air - Hotel California, Eagles

We are living in a Cheerio world, and I am a Cheerio girl - Material Girl, Madonna

Went to a dance, lookin’ for a man, saw Barbara Ann so I thought I’d take a chance - Barbara Ann, The Beach Boys

When the rainbow shaves you clean, you’ll know - Dreams, Fleetwood Mac

Where is my jonbenet; where is my prairie dog? - Where Have All the Cowboys Gone, Paula Cole

Won’t you be my bald-headed woman? I want to be your bald-headed man OR Won’t you be my four-level woman? I want to be your four-level man - Forever Man, Eric Clapton

Wrapped up like a douche, you know the rumour in the night - Blinded By the Light, Manfred Mann’s Earth Band

You and me and Leslie - Groovin, The Young Rascals

You hardly talk to me anymore, when I Kung Fu the door at the end of the day - You Don’t Bring Me Flowers, Neil Diamond

You have lost your gum forever dreadful sorry, Clementine - Traditional song

You made the rice, I made the gravy - Billy Joel

You make me eat… but I’m on a diet! - Lovin’ Touchin’ Squeezin’, Journey

You picked a fine time to leave me, Lucille, four hundred children and a crop in the field - Lucille, Kenny Rogers

You’ve got mud on your face, front disc brakes - We Will Rock You, Queen

…and, as you’ve got this far, please forgive this image. A parody rather than a mondegreen but quite fun.