What is the meaning of the phrase ‘pick your battles’?
To be selective of the issues, problems, confrontations and debates that you get involved in, focusing only on those that are most important or winnable.
What is the origin of the phrase ‘pick your battles’?
There are several well known quotes about picking and choosing your battles wisely. Here are some examples:
C. JoyBell C. is quoted as saying “Choose your battles wisely. After all, life isn’t measured by how many times you stood up to fight. It’s not winning battles that makes you happy, but it’s how many times you turned away and chose to look into a better direction. Life is too short to spend it on warring.”
Elizabeth Chadwick is quoted as saying “That you should choose your battles wisely. You cannot fight everything and win. Sometimes the price of losing is beyond what you can afford to pay, but that applies to winning as well.”
But the oldest known saying regarding the picking and choosing of battles dates back to the 3rd and 4th centuries BC. It comes from the brilliant Chinese military strategist and highly respected general, Sun Tzu in his book “The Art of War”.
Tzu’s most famous quote, which embodies the principle of picking battles, translates as “If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.”
Although this quote does not explicitly say ‘pick your battles’ it could well be the true source of the sentiment. Despite knowing the techniques of war, he’s often quoted as saying things like “The greatest victory is that which requires no battle” and “The wise warrior avoids the battle.”
These quotes underscore his philosophy that unnecessary conflict should be avoided and that strategic decision-making is crucial in determining which battles to fight.
Relevance of the phrase today
Although Tzu’s original quote isn’t often used in its full form, the concept of being particular about what ‘battles’ to fight remains very prevalent today.
For instance, you may find it in self-help literature, such as “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff… and It’s All Small Stuff” by Richard Carlson, which emphasises reducing stress by focusing on what truly matters.
You will find the concept in parenting and relationship books such as “How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk” by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish, and “Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus” by John Gray.
Similarly, it also comes up in business and leadership books, such as “The One Minute Manager” by Kenneth Blanchard and Spencer Johnson, where strategic focus and prioritisation are key to effective management.
The concept is still important in military strategy, and is also found in political commentary, where the careful selection of battles and conflicts is crucial for success.
