Slang

Example

• They were shouting and screaming at each other - a real bull and cow.

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• Punch me would you? How’d you like a bunch of fives in your eye?

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• He says he has invented a perpetual motion machine, which is clearly a load of cobblers.

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• Would I like to borrow your new Maserati for a day? Abso-bloody-lutely I would!

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• I put in tablespoons instead of teaspoons and my cake recipe has gone all to cock.

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• 1. Those alley cats were screeching and chasing rats in the yard all night. 2. Jack's getting to be a sex addict. He spends all his time with bimbos and alley cats.

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• Janice is pregnant again. With the twins still only two there's soon going to be three ankle biters around the place.

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• Time for bed Jimmy - get yourself up the apples and pears.

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• She says she is going to star in Johnny Depp's next movie. If you ask me, she's away with the fairies.

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• Jerry Lee Lewis never really recovered from being labelled a baby snatcher after he married his 13 year old cousin.

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• I'm not sure about that new hairdresser - he cut my barnet much too short.

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• If Julian didn't want us to know he was batting from the pavilion end he shouldn't keep wearing those lilac loafers.

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• He wasn't worth the respect of a punch. Bitch-slapping was more humiliating.

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• There were five of us at home - three brothers and two blood blisters.

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• Not good timing - we were sitting at the table when Granny said grace and he let go a raspberry.

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• Stupid am I! Look into my boat and say that again!

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• He slipped on those wet leaves by the gate. Legs in the air and landed on his bottle.

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• Two bottles of wine at home and then four pints in the pub - he was totally Brahms by ten-o-clock.

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• The weatherman says minus 10 degrees and strong winds for tomorrow. That's brass monkey weather.

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• I'm telling you brass tacks mate. Florida is bigger than England.

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• The girls got into trouble but her mother and I still love them - they are our bricks and mortars after all.

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• Quite appropriate that James lives with Julian in Brighton - they are Brighton Pier after all.

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• That bird just landed on the live power cable. He's brown bread for sure.

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• I knew he had been stealing but he was the boss's son. If I said anything he would get me sacked - he had me by the short and curlies.

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• Jack is a borderline sex addict. He's certainly always chasing the tail.

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• Get me twenty cigarettes while you are out would you? - and some tobacco for my cherry ripe.

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• We've been friends since school, haven't we my old china?

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• The Japanese called their prostitutes comfort women - nothing comfortable for them I think.

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• That's an hour on the exercise bike. I can't do any more - I'm crackered.

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• It's rained every day for ages. I can't remember the last time I saw the currant bun.

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• I can't get them on. Either my feet have got bigger or these daisies have shrunk.

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• Jane's wedding today. I'll need a newly pressed dickie dirt for that.

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• I need to talk to Jackie. Get her on the dog and bone for me would you?

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• 1. Prince Charles has a fine pair of donkeys. 2. This is the first school reunion we've had since 1982. I haven't seen some of these people in donkey's years.

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• He's been in the bar since we opened six hours ago. It's fair to assume that he's totally elephants by now.

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• Jane's such a good girl and I took it as read that she would come to the wedding dressed appropriately, but she's turned up in full goth makeup. At first I thought it must have been her evil twin.

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• When we were kids we used to go to the local flea pit every saturday to watch B-movies.

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• Hurry up and move the car - I can see a traffic warden coming just down the frog and toad.

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• Sadly, Jack was so psychotic they had to take him to the funny farm.

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• With his eye-liner and lurex catsuits, David Bowie was the archetype gender bender.

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• That handstand on the window ledge. You could say he was brave or you could say he was George Raft.

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• Julian is ginger - and I don't mean that he's got red hair.

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• I was lucky to survive - the bullets were flying everywhere. One missed me by a gnat's bollock.

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• John had been promised the job. He went ape shit when he found out it went to one of his subordinates.

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• We had been driving all night. A fried breakfast in a greasy spoon was just what I fancied.

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• It's freezing out there. Better get a scarf round your Gregory if you're going out.

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• It's hopeless - whenever I try to start a DIY job I find that someone has half-inched some of my tools.

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• Now madam, have a Captain Cook at these men and point out the one who attacked you.

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• 1. There was only one room left in the hotel when we arrived, so we got Hobson's choice. 2. I've had a sore throat for a couple of days - now I'm beginning to lose my hobsons.

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• Two lottery wins in our street in one week! Holy shit - that's next to impossible.

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• Since he had that lottery win and the nose job, he's in like Flynn with the girls.

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• I thought I could make mayonnaise with butter. When I tried it all went Pete Tong.

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• Julie wants me to go with her to the ballroom for a night of Jack Palancing.

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• Check my new Audi. Its the best jam jar I've ever owned.

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• Now kids, this is going to be a long car trip and we don't want to be stopping every five minutes. Just go and have a Jimmy before we set off.

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• That was really insulting to my mother. When he bends over he's going to get a good kick up the khyber.

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• Grandad kicked the bucket last week. No real surprise - he was 96.

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• They had nowhere to go to make love and had to resort to a knee-trembler in the alley.

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• Betting your wages on the toss of a coin isn't the best way to get out of debt - use your loaf mate.

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• The hamster escaped and the cat got it - it's Lord Fred for sure.

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• If that traffic warden comes back let me know - keep your minces open will you?

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• You have to shout - he's almost completely mutton.

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• This year will be our silver wedding, the old dutch and me.

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• We've been best pals since schooldays. He's my best china plate.

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• Wearing a low cut dress like that, a nip slip was almost inevitable.

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• The solicitor spent ages listing the business details of Grandad's will. We were all waiting for him to get to the nitty-gritty when we found out how much money we would inherit.

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• No, it's true! I heard it straight from her own north and south.

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• The others have all gone out - I'm on my tod.

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• Wow, that 20-year old whiskey is peachy keen..

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• That drain cover should be an airtight seal but it's broken. There's a real pen and ink in here.

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• Jack is so annoying. We were all posed for my graduation picture and he photobombed us wearing a pink cowboy hat.

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• I knew I shouldn't have agreed to help with the Christmas post. Ten miles up and down stairs today - my plates are killing me.

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• You can't trust what he tells you - half of his stories are porkies.

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• Whoa, it's the coldest day of the winter so far - really taters.

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• He just goes on and on about his hobbies - rabbit, rabbit, rabbit!

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• Put the kettle on would you? I'd love a nice cup of rosie lea.

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• Every Friday night after work, the lads all pile into the Star of India for a ruby.

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• Since the coal mines and steelworks have closed many places in the Rust Belt have become real sad-ass towns.

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• The police are on there way. With your record they are bound to think the fight was your fault - you'd better scarper before they get here.

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• That picture was supposed to be by Monet but there was a mobile phone in the background - I knew right away it was a sexton.

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• I know we have to get the early flight but isn't 2am too soon to be getting up? It isn't even sparrow fart yet.

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• That thatch on Donald Trump's head - it has to be a syrup.

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• There's a triple rainbow over there. If you don't believe me take a butchers yourself.

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• Just be careful to keep your purse safe when you go down to the market - there are plenty of tea leaves ready to steal it.

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• 1. I heard that your child has leukaemia. That sucks - I'm so sorry. 2. His singing is out of tune and he just can't dance. The whole performance sucks.

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• Even small countries like Estonia have a veto in European Union voting and can't be over-ruled. I'd call that the tail wagging the dog.

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• She's been with every boy in the neighbourhood - they even call her the town bike.

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• It looks like rain - I think I'll need a coat and my titfer.

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• Twenty years we've been married now, the trouble and strife and myself.

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• His clothes were awry and he'd lost one of his shoes - he was in a right two and eight.

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• Sorry, I won't be into work today. I'll feeling Uncle Dick.

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• We were halfway across the Australian outback when we realised our water bottle had leaked. We really were up shit creek.

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• Sending money to that Nigerian email scam. Use your loaf, mate - wasn't it obvious it was a con?

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• Such a stressful time at work this week. Come Friday night all I was good for was to veg out binge watching Friends.

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• Her top slipped down in front of the boys. She said it was a wardrobe malfunction but I think it was deliberate.

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• That important interview is coming up next week. I think I ought to get a new whistle.

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• Amazing - he hit double top six times with six darts. Would you Adam and Eve it?

Pronunciation