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Foul Fortune Cookies

Posted by TheFallen on January 15, 2003

I'm idly toying with the idea (*very* idly) of setting up a company to manufacture fortune cookies containing wildly cynical but far more applicable mottos than the trite pap usually contained in these after-dinner wastes of space. So far I have a grand total of three mots justes - any other particularly twisted examples would be welcomed.

"Money can't buy you happiness, it's true - but wouldn't you rather be sobbing your heart out in a Lamborghini than on the bus?"

"If you truly love something, let it go free - then just before it gets out of range, if it looks like it's going to keep on going, bring it down with a well-aimed shot."

"Before you criticise a man, walk a mile in his shoes - and only then criticise him. You'll be a whole mile away *and* have stolen the poor sap's shoes, so what's he going to do about it?"