Posted by Bob on December 26, 2002
In Reply to: More "If..." posted by Woodchuck on December 26, 2002
: : : : :
: : : : : Greetings -
: : : : : Would be very grateful to hear if anyone possibly
: : : : : knows where a collection of the "If" phrases
: : : : : as in "If wishes were horses then beggars would
: : : : : ride" .. etc "If **** was *** then *** would/wouldn't
: : : : : etc.
: : : : : Many thanks in advance,
: : : : Don't know a website, but here's one appropriate to the season: "If if's and but's were candy and nuts, we'd all have a Merry Christmas." I always liked the rhythm of that.
: : : "If frogs had wings, they wouldn't bump their ***** when
: : : ( http://www.kool107.com/GREGBIO.htm
: : : If frogs had wings, and snakes had hair,
: : : And automobiles flew through the air,
: : : If a watermelon grew on a huckleberry vine,
: : : Then we'd have winter in the summertime.
: : : (From http://www.grandfolkies.com/rack1.htm%20)
: : If a hog had wings he'd be an eagle.
: : If a pig had wings, he'd be a chicken hawk.
: : From "This Dog'll Hunt: An Entertaining Texas Dictionary" by Wallace O. Chariton (Wordware Publishing, Piano, Texas, 1989, 1990)
: The full Scottish proverb:
: "If wishes were horses, beggars would ride
: If turnips were swords, i'd wear one by my side
: If ifs and ands were pots and pans,
: there'd be no need for tinkers' hands"
: Another rhyme:
: If wishes were horses,
: Beggars would ride;
: If wishes were fishes,
: We'd all have some fried.
: (or alternately, "We'd all cast our lines")
I wasn't going to mention it the first time, but since we're citing examples, there's the immortal "if my aunt had balls, she be my uncle."