phrases, sayings, idioms and expressions at

Baseball? Cricket!

Posted by Barney on June 04, 2000

In Reply to: Baseball? Cricket! posted by Bob on June 01, 2000

: : : :
[Dead link removed - ed]

: : : The secret of understanding cricket is to understand its origins. Not a lot of people know that the game of cricket was invented by the English, who are not a very religious people, to give them some concept of eternity. What other game can continue for 5 days and end in a draw, where 9 members of your team retire to sit on the veranda and drink tea leaving only 2 on the field to represent them, where you cannot be 'out' until you're 'in' and where 'bad light' can stop play.

: : : The truth of the matter is that cricket can only be properly understood after an apprenticeship has been served sitting at the edge of the village green drinking beer ,or even tea, whilst the titanic struggle for supremacy is acted out on the field of play. It doesn't really matter if there are any spectators but if one or two decorate the boundary with their presence and don't express themselves too loudly, that's acceptable.

: : : At the end of the afternoon tea is served by the ladies in the pavilion and play continues until the light fades. The culmination of the day is to crowd into the village pub, drink a few jars of ale - no ice, no chilled beer - and revisit the highlights of the day.
: : :
: :

: :
: : The above desription is correct for posher teams, but true Village cricket is actually quite rowdy and unrefined. Very rarely do either side have a full team of 11 and even rarer are many of them in whites. Most are hungover from saturday night and are wearing football shirts/sunglasses.

: : There is a crowd, usually of mates/girlfriends. Helpfully shouting things such as ''Run Forest, run'' or ''Watch out for that ball!''.
: : Much beer is involved for teams and spectators and team members often actively entertain the crowds. On one memorable occasion a fielder performed handstands and rolls to a standing ovation.
: : . Tea is served by several large, hairy rugby players roped in at the last minute because the 'ladies' have gone down the pub or refused to help because hubby only mentioned that he needed sandwiches and cakes for 22 [approx] at 11.43pm on saturday night.

: NOW it's beginning to sound American. (At least less impenetrable.)

Louise is simply daydreaming. Here in the leafy lanes and quiet villages of Surrey, Sussex, Hampshire and Kent standards are maintained and we would never countenance such behaviour - football shirts and sunglasses indeed, never been seen. As for tea being handed out by 'Hairy Rugby players: never happens. Is this an attempt to introduce a feminist agenda? Let's hope not.