Need some help

Posted by Urgent on October 26, 2001


English is not my first language so I need some help:

I'm not searching for one phrase or two. I need a whole letter written.
Can you help?
I know this might sound like one of the saddest requests on any forum ever.

For months now, I have been visiting a certain football website. I wanted to discuss football and talk about my favourite team. I never knew you needed to have a PhD in English literature in order to join in the discussion.

Anyway, what I need is help in writing a strongly worded letter to the people on that discussion forum showing them the error of their ways. The wittier your responses are the better.

You can regard this as a challenge and include your best phrases in the letter.

I'm not asking for a list of swears words.