Posted by Bob on October 25, 2003
In Reply to: Tight? fight tears? posted by sphinx on October 25, 2003
: Voice tight from fighting the tears, she responded,...
: Could you rewrite this sentence in a clear, simple way?
Let's see if this is more understandable: Her throat was so tense from the effort to avoid crying, she found it difficult to speak.
Now, notice that it took more words to "explain" the original ... which means that it was fairly simple, if not clear. Let's try another re-write:
She responded in a voice strained by the effort to avoid tears.
the original is still better.