Posted by ESC on October 25, 2003
In Reply to: Tight? fight tears? posted by Bob on October 25, 2003
: : Voice tight from fighting the tears, she responded,...
: : Could you rewrite this sentence in a clear, simple way?
: Let's see if this is more understandable: Her throat was so tense from the effort to avoid crying, she found it difficult to speak.
: Now, notice that it took more words to "explain" the original ... which means that it was fairly simple, if not clear. Let's try another re-write:
: She responded in a voice strained by the effort to avoid tears.
: the original is still better.
How about: Choking back tears, she responded...