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How slow was he?

Posted by ESC on August 23, 2000

In Reply to: Phrases for sluggish situations posted by Michael on August 22, 2000

: : : I'm looking for some good phrases that refer to sluggish situations (of people)? Phrases on the order of "You're kicking a dead horse"... except that is for a situation that's worse than sluggish! Do you know any?? Thanks, if you do.

: : : Patty

: : borrowed from basketball: "They're playing in soft cement."
: : And "two blocks behind the parade."

: How about: "Slow as molasses in January"

From "This Dog'll Hunt: An Entertaining Texas Dictionary" by Wallace O. Chariton (Wordware Publishing, Piano, Texas, 1989, 1990):

SLOW As sucking buttermilk through a straw. Slow as smoke off a fresh cow patty in January. (Actually, I've heard this more directly: Slow as smoke off s*#t.) Slow as wet gunpowder. Slow as a hound dog in August.

And then there's LAZY. He'll starve to death because he won't work and he's too lazy to steal. He has to prop himself up to spit. Won't even swat flies. (Or: He won't hit a lick at a snake.) If he was a dog he wouldn't wag his own tail. He claims he was wounded in the war but nobody ever saw a scar.