50 Ways to Leave Your Lover

Posted by ESC on May 09, 2004

In Reply to: Opposites posted by R. Berg on May 09, 2004

: : We have a bet going that there is an opposite to every proverb, e.g. Clothes doth make the man" v "You can't judge a book by its cover.
: : Does anyone have an opposite to "You have made your bed, so lie in it"

: Today is the first day of the rest of your life? Not exactly a proverb. But neither is the one about making your bed.

I keep thinking of country songs -- like one by Commander Cody and the Lost Planet Airmen. But I can't find the lyrics. So here's one a Paul Simon tune:

50 Ways To Leave Your Lover

The problem is all inside your head
She said to me
The answer is easy if you
Take it logically
I'd like to help you in your struggle
To be free
There must be fifty ways
To leave your lover

She said it's really not my habit
To intrude
Furthermore, I hope my meaning
Won't be lost or misconstrued
But I'll repeat myself
At the risk of being crude
There must be fifty ways
To leave your lover
Fifty ways to leave your lover

CHORUS:
You just slip out the back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan
You don't need to be coy, Roy
Just get yourself free
Hop on the bus, Gus
You don't need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, Lee
And get yourself free...

• 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover ESC 09/May/04