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Help on phrase

Posted by GPP on September 10, 2003

In Reply to: Help on phrase posted by EAH on September 10, 2003

: : "The smile on a happy Man "

: : there is this gentle man whose become a proud father and thats all about what I am trying to portray it..

: : how can I better frame it....

: One way is to describe the internal feeling a new parent may have, such as the overused "his heart swelled with pride".

: I suggest using stronger synonyms..."grin" instead of "smile"...and substituting a physical description that suggests his happiness:

: An inane/foolish grin spread across the face of the new father...gently cradling his first child/son/daughter.../
: as he gently held/touched ..../

: I have used / to designate possible alternatives. Chose one or the other.

": For "political correctness" use "their" rather than "his"."
Well, but certainly not in this instance. It's poor English, but "PC", to use "their" for the possessive case in referring to a single person OF UNKNOWN SEX. When we're talking about a "proud father", chances are we can make an assumption about his sex.