Help on phrase

Posted by EAH on September 10, 2003

In Reply to: Help on phrase posted by sam on September 10, 2003

: "The smile on a happy Man "

: there is this gentle man whose become a proud father and thats all about what I am trying to portray it..

: how can I better frame it....

One way is to describe the internal feeling a new parent may have, such as the overused "his heart swelled with pride".

I suggest using stronger synonyms..."grin" instead of "smile"...and substituting a physical description that suggests his happiness:

An inane/foolish grin spread across the face of the new father...gently cradling his first child/son/daughter.../
as he gently held/touched ..../

I have used / to designate possible alternatives. Chose one or the other.
For "political correctness" use "their" rather than "his".