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Literary similes

Posted by R. Berg on January 28, 2003

In Reply to: Found phrases posted by ESC on January 28, 2003

: I am starting to see colorful phrases everywhere. Here are a few I collected from a suspense/science fiction novel I just read:

: SQUARE AS A SALTINE CRACKER -- "He supposed that he'd never be hip. His fate was to be as square as a saltine cracker."

: HELL'S GOT A BED WAITING -- "Hell's got a bed waiting for me, sure enough."

: NUTTIER THAN A ONE-POUND JAR OF JIF -- "If we operate under the assumption that he was just nuttier than a one-pound jar of Jif, we're making a mistake that could get us killed." (Jif is a brand of peanut butter.)

: PUSH HER GO-NUTS BUTTON -- "Even in response to Dylan - who for some reason had the power to push her go-nuts button as no one before him - even in response to him, the knee-jerk reactions were stupid."

: BRISTLED BETTER THAN A WIRE BRUSH -- "'Don't be so negative all the time.' She bristled better than a wire brush."

: GIVE TIMID LESSONS TO A MOUSE -- "For your information, I was nothing once, a wadded-up-thrown-away-Kleenex of a kid. Shy, shaky shy, rubbed so thin by life I half believed sunlight passed through me. Could've given timid lessons to a mouse."

: From "By the Light of the Moon" by Dean Koontz, Bantam Books, New York, 2002.

Koontz's writing desk is obviously haunted by the ghost of Raymond Chandler, who wrote "I belonged in Idle Valley like a pearl onion on a banana split."