Posted by Mugball-us on January 31, 2005
As I was on line to have my hair cut at my local unisex peluqueria, I had time to peruse the beauty products on display in the waiting area. Several costly pots of goo promised to deal with a phenomenon called "bed head". I assumed, at first, that "bed head", like "hat hair" was the unkempt state of my locks that I eliminate with a few swift strokes of my silver-backed military brushes. I was wrong. Apparently, "bed head" is a look to be desired that simulates elf locks. The expensive preparations on sale enable the purchaser to maintain their "bed head" throughout a long and taxing day. From the photos of "bed head" equiped models that I saw, it actually looks quite good on a certain type of starved junkie adolescent.
It has occured to me and my more visionary friends that the fashion industry has not realized the full potential of the just-risen look and we are preparing to market a full line of complementary products. Among these are a mouthwash that gives one morning breath, eyedrops that redden one's eyes, a cologne that simulates the aroma of stale cigarettes and spilt beer and adhesive, applique eye boogers. I think we're going to clean up!