Can anybody translate some this high-brow proverbs for me

Posted by Bruce Kahl on August 07, 2003

: 1. It is fruitless to become lachrymose because of scattered lacteal fluid.

: 2. A rotating lithospherical fragment never accrues lichen.

: 3. It is not proper for mendicants to be indicators of preferences.

: 4. A strong feeling of affection can cause the universe to rotate on its
: axis.

: 5. Folks deficient in ordinary judgment scurringly enter areas of which
: celestial beings dread to set foot

: 6. Refrain from detonating the missile until the opaque colorless parts of
: the visual organs are in evidence.

: 7. Pulchritude does not extend below the surface if the derma.

: 8. A feathered creature clasped in the manual members is equal value to a
: brace in the bosky warmth.

: 9. A beholden vessel never exceeds 212 degrees Fahrenheit.

: 10. Everything is legitimate in matters pertaining to ardent affection and
: armed conflict between nations.

: 11. One should refrain calculating the valuation of his gallinaceous fowl
: prior to the anticipated time of their incubation.

: 12. One pyrenus malus per diem restrains the arrival of the Hippocratic
: apostle.

: 13. Precipitance creates prodigality.

: 14. One may address a member of the equidal family toward aqueous liquid,
: but one is incapable of compelling him to quaff.

: 15. You cannot estimate the value of the contents of a bound printed
: narrative or record from its exterior vesture.

: 16. Supposing one primarily fails to be victorious, bend further efforts in
: that direction.

: 17. Tenants of vitreous abode ought not to hurl lithospherical fragments.

: 18. Two intellectual craniums engulfing the sensory organs are more suitable
: than an individual cranium.

: 19. Exercise your visual faculties prior to executing a jump.

: 20. Consolidated, you and I remain ourselves erect, separated, we defer to
: the law of gravity.

I think most if not all of your translations can be found at the link below.