phrases, sayings, idioms and expressions at

Phrases, Sayings and Idioms Home > Discussion Forum

Re: Ladies and jellybeans

Posted by ESC on June 04, 2003

In Reply to: Re: I think so. posted by Henry on June 04, 2003

: : : : Ladies and Gentlemen,
: : : : I have come before you to stand behind you.
: : : : To tell you something I know nothing about.
: : : : Tis about the four corners of the round table.
: : : : ...
: : : : ...

: : : : This is all I can remember...it was something I heard 40 or more years sgo
: : : : It has always been in my mind to find the rest of it...please help..LOL
: : : : june ...way up here in Cambridge Ontario Canada

: : : I have a book of children's jokes, etc., at home that has a couple of versions of this. I can post it this evening.

: : I don't know where this is from, but it range a bell with me too. I found the following on a web-page:

: : Ladies & Jellyspoons...
: : I stand before you to go behind you
: : To tell you something I know nothing about.
: : This Thursday, which is Good Friday,
: : There will be a mothers' meeting to which only fathers are invited.
: : Wear your best clothes if you haven't any,
: : And if you can come, please stay at home.
: : Admission is free, pay at the door.
: : Grab a chair and sit on the floor.
: : It doesn't matter where you sit,
: : The man in the gallery is sure to spit.
: : Our next meeting is about the four corners of the round table.
: : Thank me!

: : And similarly, another apparently old-fashioned piece of absurb verse that again rings faint chords for me:-

: : One bright day in the middle of the night,
: : Two dead boys got up to fight.
: : Back to back they faced each other,
: : Drew their swords and shot each other.
: : When the deaf policeman heard the noise,
: : Up he came and shot the two dead boys.
: : If you don't believe this lie is true,
: : Ask the blind man - he saw it too!

: Ladles and Jellyspoons!

A couple more rounds...

From the "American Children's Folklore: A Book of Rhymes, Games, Jokes, Stories, Secret Languages, Beliefs and Camp Legends for Parents, Grandparents, Teachers, Counselors and All Adults Who Were Once Children" by Simon J. Bronner (August House Inc., Little Rock, Ark., 1988):

VERSION 1

Ladies and jellybeans
Reptiles and crocodiles
I stand before you to sit behind you
To tell you something I know nothing about
There will be a meeting tomorrow evening
Right after breakfast
To decide which color to whitewash the church
There is no admission
So pay at the door
There are plenty of seats
To sit on the floor

VERSION 2

Ladies and gentlemen
Hobos and tramps
Cross-eyed mosquitoes,
And bow-legged ants
I come before you to stand behind you
To tell you a story
I know nothing about
Late last Thursday night, early Friday morning
An empty truck full of bricks
Pulled into my front yard
Killing my cat in the backyard
The same night two boys got up to fight
Back to back they faced one another
A deaf policeman heard the noise
Came and shot the two dead boys
If you don't believe this lie is true
Ask the blind man
He saw it too.