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Re: If wishes were horses

Posted by Bob on December 27, 2002

In Reply to: If wishes were horses posted by R. Berg on December 27, 2002

: : : : : : : :
: : : : : : : : Greetings -

: : : : : : : : Would be very grateful to hear if anyone possibly
: : : : : : : : knows where a collection of the "If" phrases
: : : : : : : : as in "If wishes were horses then beggars would
: : : : : : : : ride" .. etc "If **** was *** then *** would/wouldn't
: : : : : : : : etc.

: : : : : : : : Many thanks in advance,

: : : : : : : Don't know a website, but here's one appropriate to the season: "If if's and but's were candy and nuts, we'd all have a Merry Christmas." I always liked the rhythm of that.

: : : : : : "If frogs had wings, they wouldn't bump their ***** when they hop!"
: : : : : : ( http://www.kool107.com/GREGBIO.htm

: : : : : : If frogs had wings, and snakes had hair,
: : : : : : And automobiles flew through the air,
: : : : : : If a watermelon grew on a huckleberry vine,
: : : : : : Then we'd have winter in the summertime.
: : : : : : (From http://www.grandfolkies.com/rack1.htm )

: : : : : If a hog had wings he'd be an eagle.
: : : : : If a pig had wings, he'd be a chicken hawk.
: : : : : From "This Dog'll Hunt: An Entertaining Texas Dictionary" by Wallace O. Chariton (Wordware Publishing, Piano, Texas, 1989, 1990)

: : : : The full Scottish proverb:

: : : : "If wishes were horses, beggars would ride
: : : : If turnips were swords, i'd wear one by my side
: : : : If ifs and ands were pots and pans,
: : : : there'd be no need for tinkers' hands"

: : : : Another rhyme:

: : : : If wishes were horses,
: : : : Beggars would ride;
: : : : If wishes were fishes,
: : : : We'd all have some fried.
: : : : (or alternately, "We'd all cast our lines")

: : : I wasn't going to mention it the first time, but since we're citing examples, there's the immortal "if my aunt had balls, she be my uncle."

: : Is it just me? I can't make this scan:
: : If turnips were swords, i'd wear one by my side
: : Either there's another way to read it, or word it ... or the Scots can't scan.

: It doesn't scan, nor does another version, "If turnips were watches . . ."
: The whole verse was found to be a Mother Goose rhyme; see query of Sept. 5, 2001, in Archive 10 on this site (findable from the "Browse Archives" link).

Odd. Scanning isn't that difficult. Most folk rhymes scan at least pretty well. I wonder if there's another version somewhere. By the way, if turnips were watches, they'd be crunchier.