Re: My favorite bumper sticker
Posted by stile on March 26,
2002 In Reply to: Re: My favorite bumper sticker
posted by bob on March 19, 2002
: : : : : : : : : From a story in The Courier Journal, Louisville,
Ky., March 18, 2002.
: : : : : : : : : CRUTCH PHRASES:
: : : : : : : : : ".Thank you for your patience.
: : : : : : : : : And . . . have a nice day.
: : : : : : : : : The shopworn phrases above are agonizingly familiar
to anyone who routinely suffers through less-than-stellar customer
service, which is most of us. What's so annoying is not the sentiment
-- patience is a virtue, wishing someone a nice day is a nice gesture.
: : : : : : : : : What's so grating is the way they're said, often
dripping with monotonal insincerity, indifference and even the occasional
touch of sarcasm. So is the suspicion, often justified, that these
customer service 'crutch phrases' actually mask bigger problems
within the company: a misguided attempt to save money -- or boost
profits -- by skimping on the customer."
: : : : : : : : : There is a a sidebar by Bill Lampton, author
of "The Complete Communicator," with several responses to "Thank
you for your patience." Examples:
: : : : : : : : : It seems you have misread my emotions. Please
don't let my calm appearance fool you. I ran out of patience with
this problem a long time ago.
: : : : : : : : : Let me clarify something. The only reason I may
seem to be patient is because I have vowed not to be as rude to
you as people in your business have been to me.
: : : : : : : : : Patient? I don't think you have pinpointed my
emotion exactly. You'd be more accurate if you said I seem calm
and serene. I really am. Why? Because I know this is my last day
of shopping with you.
: : : : : : : : : A link to an article by Mr. Lampton:
: : : : : : : : : Words We'd Love to Do Without at http://www.businessknowhow.com/manage/words.htm
: : : : : : : : Well, how about signs? Thank You for Not Smoking.
I see it everywhere. Thank You for Not Eating Our Soup with Your
Hands and Then Tossing the Bowl at the Busboy. I fear the day when
"Will the defendant please rise" is replaced by "Thank you for not
sitting."
: : : : : : : : The fish counter at my local supermarket often
labels some of its offerings Thawed for Your Convenience. That's
euphemispeak for This Fish Was Frozen.
: : : : : : : That's food for thawed.
: : : : : : My personal all-time favourite... seen outside a US-Mall
based ophthalmologist...
: : : : : : "Your eyes tested FREE while U wait"
: : : : : : ...and the alternative would presumably be to leave
your eyes there to be tested while you go shopping...
: : : : : Along the same lines, a bumpersticker: Tattoos while
you wait
: : : :
: : : : was displayed on the streets of New York City in the 80's
while Ed Koch was in power. A small ordinary looking blue and white
street sign read "Litter is filthy and disgusting so don't do it.
I could almost hear Ed Koch saying the words...
: : :
: : : My favourite litter sign was on the top of soft drink cans.
On one side it said "Do not litter", on two lines. On the other
it said "Dispose of properly", again on two lines. Neither phrase
seemed to flow nicely, but if you read it turning the can anticlockwise
and reading inwards the instruction had the best style of all: "Do
not dispose of litter properly".
: : : Much better.
: : : psi
: : Honk if you're Jesus
: My current favorite bumper stickers:
: Nuke Whales for Jesus
: Inquire Within
: IF GUNS ARE OUTLAWED only outlaws will accidentally shoot their
children
The best of all: My Karma ran over your Dogma
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