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Spank the monkey

Posted by Barney on December 13, 2001

In Reply to: Spank the monkey posted by TheFallen on December 13, 2001

: : : : : Simple question... what's the derivation? I know it's US based, and the "spank" part can be easily rationalised... but "the monkey"? Any ideas?

: : : : In America, it's even more simple. Monkey is a slang term for the genitals. The phrase "spank the monkey" is a slang phrase for masturbation.
: : : : A cute little story to go along with this theme, if I may. My niece was taking a bath at her grandmother's one day. She was about three years old at the time. Her mother walked into the bathroom to check on her and found her with a men's razor in her hand. She asked her what she was doing with that. Her reply - shaving my monkey. Everybody's mouth dropped as her mother came out of the bathroom and told them what she had said. She wasn't actually shaving her "monkey" of course, but she was trying to shave her toy monkey's face. Sorry, but I've waited years to tell that story.

: : : Great story. My laugh for the day.

: : Great example of how confusing euphuisms are to small children, especially those that describe parts, or functions, of the body that embarrass grown-ups.

: Without wishing either to be churlish, or prurient, I'm uneasy with the notion with "monkey" being a unisex slang term for the genitals. There's very few equivalents that I can bring to mind - I suppose that the occasionally used British "wedding tackle" might be possible. Plus, forgive me, but doesn't "spanking the monkey" refer to a specifically male pastime, and as such would never be used as an idiom to describe any solus female activity? A thing which, if true, would cast doubt upon the original answer...

Were it within my gift I would consign all such euphuisms to the dustbin of ignorance and lead the next generation to a snigger free future where bodily functions and features are properly understood - aren't I an old grouch, spoiling all the fun and abolishing the snigger?

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